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6/30/2006 Walks in the rain..Oh God I'm sleepy today. Two hours sleep in NOT good. I ate strawberry cheesecake at like 2am and then couldn't sleep until about 4 because of the sugar rush. And then of course I was awakened at 6. Not good. Even with caffeine. Still not good.
Haven't really done much today. Oh, I hoovered the house, and cleaned the floors. And my grandparents were here again. Of course got questioned again, mainly about why my brother's computer is in pieces. They don't understand what a wireless card is.. Or why I would want one...
Hmmm, yes, haven't quite got round to putting in that wireless card yet. I got busy ripping Cd's. Oh what fun. My Mother actually has way too many Robbie Cd's. And I played Trivial Pursuit with my brother, and let him win, again.
Ever get the feeling that you don't really mean anything to anyone? There's certain people that mean (meant) the world to me... And it just sucks that I mean (meant) nothing to them. I kind of know that I don't mean much to many people, but I'm scared everyone suddenly turns around and tells me to get lost because I don't mean anything to them. I hate it when people are 'friends' with me for the wrong reasons. Like people who only pretend to be friends with me because they feel they have to, to keep themselves out of trouble. Meh.
I went a walk in the rain today. I'm one of those weird people that likes rain. It was cold and wet. But strangely invigorating.
Now i have a headache. So I'm going to bed. (No, i'm not avoiding putting in my wireless card...  ...)Grandparents.I'm such a bad big sister. I was supposed to be looking after my little brother today, so I got up, got him dressed and put on a football video... And went back to bed! Haha! I am really THAT lazy. I did get up in the end. Because some dude came to the door.
The Grandparents were up today. I hate it when they're here. I have to act all innocent and not swear and pretend I don't know what sex is.. And they always ask the same dumb questions... 'How is school?' 'Have you got a job yet?'. Urg. How funny would it be if i replied to them with 'Naw, I fucking hate school, and I'd rather suck Tony Blair's hairy penis while being fucked up the ass by his dog than go to school'. Urg. Old people. </rant>
Oh yes and I took my computer apart today. I wanted to nick my brother's (well... my) wireless card. Because I never used to get disconnected when I was on that computer. Yes I got like 20 kazillion viruses but I never got disconnected. So I nicked it. And then got confused. Insides of computers are comfusing. And dusty.
Anyway, Dave is reading this... So I think I should put in a wee bit for Dave. Dave is a little crazy, I think, because he's bet me a bag of candyfloss that I will end up being a model. And Dave has cute birds. And Dave is going to be held responsible when I mess up my computer tomorrow by putting 'it' in the wrong hole. Haha.
6/28/2006 Urg.Today was pretty boring. I got up quite early (9am). And I didn't get woken by Justin today. I turned the sound off! Mwahahaha! Anyway, I've spent today getting my songs back. And generally messing about with songs and my Ipod. Oh and I cleaned the pigs out. What an excitement.
And yeah I feel really fucking stupid... 'Cause of.. Well... Stuff. Stuff that only a couple of people really know about. But I'm so fucking pissed off about it. And I hate myself for getting into it. And believing his lies. Fuck it. I must have 'stupid' tatooed across my head. Argh.
Ipod!Hmph I got woken up again this morning. By Justin. Oh my Ipod came today! I was slightly hyper!! I gotta say, I HATE itunes. It has corrupted most of my music files. So I've been renaming them back to how I wanted them and not how Itunes wanted them. And I'm downloading all the songs it corrupted. GRR! How annoying. Ipod is working fine now though. Wahey! It's rather good.
6/26/2006 Alton TowersOh well today was good and bad. I didn't really get any sleep, then got up at half two in the morning, got ready and was at school for three. No one else turned up 'til like ten past three. Haha. The bus there was too long. And we had a crap driver who crashed us. Haha. And fucked up the engine. But we did eventually get there.
I was with Rob and Hannah, and we lost track of Hannah, so Rob and I went a wander, then went on the log flume and met up with Hannah. From there we went on Oblivion, which was amazing, like Sheikra in Florida only not as good. But still good. We waited ages for Rita but we got fed up waiting. Rob and I went the other rides there too.
Bus home was longer, or so it seemed, I slept. Now I'm sleepy and it feels like morning.
6/25/2006 New geek-ness!I got woken up today by one of the nicest guys in America. Who sounds Canadian. Ha. Anyway. I haven't really done a lot today, spent a while looking at cars with my parents. Ha, was quite fun. Looked at digital cameras too, because we're getting a new one for Florida. Which by the way is in 100 days today! OMG! 100 days!
I love the new Windows Live and the new Plus that goes with it. It's actually amazing. It lets you write your own scripts! How amazing is that? Yes I'm a geek, I know I'm a geek, I fully admit I'm a geek. Lol. I'm thinking I should do more of that Space School thing. I've finished the first one. It wasn't too bad, actually.
I have a list of things to do this week, I mean after Alton towers. Oh, my God, that's tomorrow! I have to be at school for around 03:15 (yes, that's 3am) so i'm wondering if I should go to bed, or if I should just stay up. I mean I could go to bed at like 9pm and get a few hours. Hmm..
Anyway, things to do this week. Yes I have a lot. I'm gonna attempt to do everything this week, that's homework and Space School and boring stuff so that I can do sweet fuck all for the actual holidays. Y'see I'm supposed to go to school on Tuesday and Wednesday. But my parents actually WANT me to skip school, so that I can do important stuff, and not sit at school watching videos.
This comes this week...
6/24/2006 Highland ShowToday was great! We got up early and got a lift with Dad on his way to work to the Highland Show. It was actually really good. We got free fudge and cheese and whiskey and all sorts of other stuff. We watched the horses and ponies and dogs. And ferrets. Oh and we went and saw all the animals, I like the baby highland cows, they're sooo cute!
Aaaaand we met Zoe. And we got flowers made for us out of ribbon! That was cool! And we bought loads of crap, lol. I bought wellies just out of the randomness. It's hugh that place, my arms hurt from pushing my brother about all day. Oh, and I was looking at the cars too. And trying to decide what car I want. Daddy is actually willing to spend £9000 on a car for me! Not baaaaad!
YOUgive me ©
b u t t e r f l i e s
You 'mm' can fuck the fuck off. Yes I brought it on myself. I miss him more than you could ever fucking IMAGINE. So shut up until you know what it's like to lose someone you love. i'm suffering for it. Happy?! I HAVE NEVER HURT SO FUCKING MUCH IN MY WHOLE LIFE! 6/23/2006 OhTheExpense! $$$Today went from very shite to very good. I decided to go to school, to play softball. And it was great, Nicole and Hannah and Zoe were there and I actually thought it was going to be a laugh. But then he turned up. I got completely ditched. So I went home. I don't think anyone noticed except Hannah.
So I went home in tears, and my Mum was off work because Truffs was going back to the vet today, and my Mum took me shopping to cheer me up. Got a few bits and bobs, then we went for lunch and had a laugh, and I got my hair cut. It was much more fun than sitting by myself at school. I love my Mummy.
I'm looking forward to Alton Towers on Monday! Woo! It's gonna be good hopefully. I hope it's a nice day as well. Hot and sunny. And I am going to get to go, because Mummy is writing me a note to say why I was off yesterday afternoon/today. So STFU about me not getting to go.
Aaaaand we just bought an IPOD. Hehe. Today turned out good.
And my hair is dyed. It's dark brown. Really dark brown. Almost black. I don't think I like it... My Dad is gonna faint when he gets home. We've spent so much. OMGz! Don't let Mummy and me have the day off together again! We're MADDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!
ILU Mummy <3a
h a p p y e n d i n g s
s t o p p r e t e n d i n g
h o p e f u l d r e a m i n g
l o v i n g l e a v i n g
6/22/2006 Pub Quiz.Today was pretty pish. I wasn't going to go, actually. But I did go. Did the 'pub quiz' thing. Which is meant to be fun. It was alright I suppose. There was a lot of cheating though.
Okay, I'm gonna do this Space School thing. Then fill in my prefect form. I realy don't know why I'm putting myself forward to be a prefect. I mean it's just a popularity contest. The teachers vote as well. So if you're popular and have your head up the teacher's arse, you're gonna win. How unfair and annoying. What the fuck is that teaching us?
Anyway, rant over. Space school...
... By the way. I love Justin! He rocks, he is just too great and he's like the only person that listens to me. 6/21/2006 Meh.Yeah yeah I did write a blog. But of course I did the silly thing and didn't publish it before I restarted. So yeah take two. Today was really miles better than yesterday, and the day before. Hm. I wonder why. Maths, Miss Love was in one of her rare good moods and let us play games! (??) Computing was pretty boring, I was too sleepy. Couldn't be bothered with the ol' VB. English, I wasn't gonna go but I wanted to see the end of wuthering Heights. Actually. Yes.
Chemistry was shite. I actually just sat and listened to music and Susan Graham all period. What fun. I decided to go home at lunch, because I was in PD last two periods with Nicole and Michael. So I just thought, nahhhh. i'm not gonna sit on my own for another two hours. So I came home and did nothing really. Made a start on the Space School thing. It's quite hard. But i've done most of the first part. Wahey.
I hate the new MSN. I'm gonna complain about it at some point when I don't wanna be in bed. Anyway. I shall be going. Mr Q says I need more sleep. I agree with Mr Q. 6/20/2006 It Just Gets Worse.School just gets worse. I am so glad it's nearly the holidays, because I dunno how much more of this I can put up with. I really can't fucking stand my life right now. I mean I've been pretty depressed before, but I've never been so alone through it. I've never had to walk home myself or sit by myself. I guess I took my friends for granted that they'd always be there. And now that they're not, well, I dunno.
Maths was pish today, had Mrs McC. She's shite and I hate her.
Nobody's noticed she's already gone... 6/19/2006 We Are AloneMonday-ness. I got up early today and I have actually thanked myself for it. I got up to talk to Justin, who is just awesome by the way. And I was actually ready for school by 8am. Wow!
And because I was up for ages, I was actually really awake at school. Computing was a good laugh, crashed the computer with my infinate loops at least three times. Ha. I so can't do VB. It was a laugh though, I dunno why but Amy and I were laughing at totally unfunny things.
Biology was boring. Actually quite shite. I don't have anyone to do experiments or microscope work with now. So it's pretty shite. And Josh was being very annoying and wouldn't shut up. About his silly little 'why did the monkey fall out the tree?' jokes.
English I think I fell asleep again, it's so boring. Seriously. But tomorrow we're watching the video of Wuthering Heights so hopefully that might give me an idea what the hell the book is about. And maths, did no work. Talked about nothing in particular with Cole. I love our random maths-chats.
I have actually done my maths homework tonight, I'm gonna do the biology, then go read the book. I'm gonna stay on top of the homework, I can't be doing with all-nighters to do homework. 6/18/2006 I swear I can fly.I'm debating with my inner conscience whether I should do my weekly rant about hating Sundays or not. It's raining. And I have too much homework to do.
I can't get enough of this song called Everytime We Touch. It's such a 'ned' song. But I love it. Wanna hear it? Click Here. Well.. Today, I have achieved absolutley nowt. I have done some maths homework, downloaded more illegalness and done some html-ing. I need to finish the maths, then read Wurthering Heights. Then I have to clean my piggies and sleep.
I didn't actuall realise that we finish school soon. It's the Mix 'n' Match on Thursday, and no work from then on. Woo! So really, there's only 3 days of work left. Which makes me happy.
I want Australia to win against Brazil. I'm actually watching this game. I HATE FOOTBALL. But the Aussie's are hot and the accents make me horny. ^_^
Dancing In The Dark
Can We Try Again To Start A New And Lovely Story?
That Will Shine A Ray Of Light Upon Our Hearts
And Bring Back Long Lost Glory
Of How It Used To Be, Baby You And Me
Convinced We Were Each Others Destiny
My Heart Cries Out To You, You Must Forgive Me
I've Been Dancing In The Dark
I've Been Searching For A Spark Of Fire Still Burning
I Believe We'll Make It Through If You Stand By Me
We Can Weather Any Storm
And Keep Each Other Warm As Long As There's Love
Every Time I Think Of Us My Eyes Are Filled With Tears
To Think That I Gave In To Sweet Temptation
His Words Like Music To My Ears
I Hope It's Not Too Late, That You Still Await
Oh Please Tell Me That You're Still Having Faith
My Heart Cries Out To You, You Must Forgive Me
I've Been Dancing In The Dark
I've Been Searching For A Spark Of Fire Still Burning
I Believe We'll Make It Through If You Stand By Me
We Can Weather Any Storm
And Keep Each Other Warm As Long As There's Love
Hmmm
But Faith Is Not Mine
And If I Could I'd Un Turn
The Hands Of Time
Oh, My Heart Cries Out To You, You Must Forgive Me
I've Been Dancing In The Dark
I've Been Searching For A Spark
I Believe We'll Make It Through If You Stand By Me
We Can Weather Any Storm
And Keep Each Other Warm As Long As There's Love
Never Enough, Love. 6/17/2006 Sick.Today was shite. I got woken up at 9am to start with. Then argued with my Mum over whether we go to town on the bus or on the train. She won and we had to go on the bus. Despite the fact I get bus-sick and they take ages and are boring.
So yeah, missed the half 9 bus. Got the half 10 one. I fell asleep on the way there, then we went to Waterstones. I got some books for higher. I wasn't allowed to buy every Higher Maths book. So I only bought two. It was boring. Then we got lunch from M&S. Then went for the 2:45 bus. Missed it. Got the 3:45 one. I felt sick. We had to get off at Wishaw so I could puke. So then we were at Wishaw. And there was no way I was going on another bus to get to Carluke.
So I puked some more, and called Dad, and persuaded him to pick us up. And puked again. And puked all the way home. And puked some more when I got home. Now my Mother understands why I don't go on buses. =]
I went to sleep when I got home. Now it feels like morning. Confused! 6/16/2006 Alone.Friday. Fuck. I didn't sleep last night. I was stuck on maths homework. And my parents were being complete shits. My home life is almost as bad as my school life these days. And that's really saying something. My parents yelled at me for everything last night. And I was really sick. Then I sat for over 6 hours doing maths. I was just determined to understand something. I don't think it worked.
So anyway, after a huge caffeine overdose, went to the hellhole disguised as a school. It was shite. Chemistry was really quite boring. Maths. Was I even there? Computing. What the fuck did we do? English I went to sleep and biology I did actually do quite a lot of work. Shite.
These last few days have been shit. And I know it's never going to be back to normal, so I've basically lost most of my friends. It's okay. Thankyou to all who I've been shitty with the last few days, I think you probably all know who you are. Thanks for being there for me. Just... Thanks.
Do You Know What It Feels Like.... Being Alone ? </3 6/15/2006 =(Today was complete shite. I realised that I was a stupid cow to do whatever I did to get me into this mess. I sat alone in the common room at break and hardly anyone uttered a word to me. I feel so alone. Biology sucked. I wish I could turn back time, I wouldn't have mentioned my phone to my parents, I would just have done without it. I guess I have made one person's life so much happier. I went home for lunch, I couldn't stand watching him being so happy and me sitting there alone. Yeah, I'm selfish. Yeah I'm jealous. Hate me if you want. I walked home myself. I have actually never felt so alone. My parents had another go at me, for the phone, for the state of my room, for everything. I tried to explain to them that I have so much fucking homework to be doing, and they just call me stupid. I can't fucking do maths. I have three days of work to do and I don't understand any of it. I'm so fucking STUPID. Prizegiving was shite. Too much speeches. It's such a stupid event anyway. Most of it is just the teachers rewarding the pupils that are so far up their anus, that it takes a prize to entice them out of that shitty hole that they so lovingly lick. Gross? Yes. I'm gonna be up all night doing homework. Yeah I'm a sad geek with no life, but at the end of the day, if I fail everything, I'm gonna be in the shit. 6/14/2006 Nasa-nessUrgh today was boring. I hadn't a clue what time I was supposed to be at the station for. I remember hearing '20' and '9'. I wasn't sure if it was 20 to 9 for the 9am train, or 20 past 9 for the half 9 train. So I went for 20 to. Sat for AGES waiting on those who got a lift with Mr S to come.
The actual 'Space School' was so bloody boring. We had to listen to an old guy, then an astronaut, then 'young people' that won the Space School last year. Then there was a 'questions and answers' thing where the audience were supposed to ask questions. Ha. It was funny, there was a Russian cosmonaut who obviously didn't speak very good English. He was asked what it was like when the space craft he was on collided with something. And he replied with "Zere waz zis beeg huge tiny hole".
Hannah and I were pissing ourselves. There was also a fire on board his craft, and when asked if he was scared, he replies with "Zee fire... Zere was... Flames! And Smoke". Lol.
Then after all that sitting, we got a shite lunch and got out 'modules'. Rob fed the pigeons. Then we went for McD's and then went home. Utterly boring.
I cleared out all my old school stuff tonight, I got rid of history and 1st and 2nd year stuff. Got rid of French too.... I don't wanna go back to it.
Still in deep shit for the phone. But David 'doesn't care'. It went away to get fixed today, and the technician said that the phone will NEVER be in perfect working order because the fizzy juice has probably corroded the connections between the chips, so the phone might work for a while, then just cut out as the chips corrode further. So I'm never going to have a phone in the condition it was before David touched it. So I guess it is a new phone. Argh I wish this had never happened. I miss David so fucking much and I am SO SO SO sorry. 6/13/2006 Buddy Training.Ahhhh buddy training. I do actually want to be a buddy, just the training was shite. We went on a big mad adventure to... NEW LANARK. Fun. Lesmahago High were there too. First we got stupid little name tags and groups. Then we listened to that American dude go on about buddy training. Then we went into groups. And did activities. Then listened to him more.
Blah blah blah... OMG New Lanark food is extortionate!!! Like £5 for a plate of macaroni cheese!! I got fudge. For like £2. Anyway day was pretty shite, we did mock buddy things and I told my 'first year buddy' to go commit suicide.
Phone situation -- Mum told me to give the phone to David and tell him if he didn't hand a fixed phone back to me by Friday, she's taking legal action. So I did. And David isn't allowed to take the phone (his Mum says no). So Mother is determined to take legal action. David's Mum has now stopped Rob from talking to me too. I don't see why Rob needs to be brought into it, when all he ever did was help me, tried to fix the phone and loaned me one of his, which i'm very thankful of. I'm sorry though.
</rant>
Got Florida park tickets today!! 6/12/2006 Fxck. This sxcks.I totally slept in this morning. Probably because I was having nightmares about that pic Stuee sent me. *Gives Stue evils*. But yeah, double computing. Was really boring. We're doing the basic VB and it's shite. So easy. And boring. I just spent my time making the programs pretty colours. Ha. Mr Q thinks I'm mad.
Double biology was really boring too, because Mrs R just went over everything we did on Friday for the people that didn't bother turning up. So I sat and drew pretty little cells and coloured them in. I should have taken art..
English was shite. I think I fell asleep. Maths was also shite. Orgasms are somewhat more exciting conversation than perpindicular lines.. Eh Cole?
Anyway, rant of the day, I got in shit again because of my broken phone. And I got asked for the money from David. And I don't have the money, I was planning on dragging it out until I had the £170 or so then pretending it was from David. But I got asked for the money tonight and ended up crying and explaining that David can't come up with the money.
My Mum's given me 'til Monday to have a fixed phone. If i'm not in posession of a working Nokia 6230i by Monday, my Mum is taking action and suing David for criminal damage. And if she does that, he's not gonna be allowed into Florida because they don't let you in without a Visa if you have any kind of criminal record. So I feel like utter shit and I don't know how to get us (David and I) out of this mess. I never wanted to fall out with him over it, but he's just fallen out with me.
I'm so sorry for letting my Dad see the phone. I'm stupid. We will get through it won't we? We shall find some money-making scheme and be fine. Don't fall out with me.... We will be fine! I love you to bits David! 6/11/2006 Hurt.Oh I hurt today. My head is banging! And I still can't hear properly. Oh God and the sunburn is well.. Burning!! My parents went out to my grandparents I think. So I slept. And then did homework. Apart from that I haven't really done much exciting.
I fancy Nick.
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