Friday 8^th June

Arrival!

I did go to bed last night, surprisingly at about midnight, full of good intentions of having a wee sleep so I wouldn’t be so tired when we arrived today. However, I couldn’t sleep (too excited) and ended up just getting to sleep about 20 minutes before I was due to get up. So we were all up at 4am and actually managed to be leaving the house at 5am.

We got the car all sorted at the Q-Park place, and then went to the airport to meet mile long queues for our check in. *yawn* But it didn’t actually take too long to get through all that, and from there we headed straight through security (without being strip-searched… Damn!) And had a wee look round duty free before having breakfast at some pub place in the departure lounge. Was quite good.

Then after breakfast we went down to the gate and sat around there for a bit. It wasn’t too long before we were called as we always end up on the plane first. So yeah we were on like, first. And someone put me beside Ben and I like window seats. Not chuffed. I hate taking off as always.

The flight generally wasn’t bad; apart from the whole flight there was a screaming kid whose parents slept the whole flight! The flight was actually only eight hours, it’s usually about nine and a half, so I suppose I shouldn’t complain. We got through security at America without too much trouble; they seem to be less secure than they were last time.

We got the hire car after that, and we have a pretty classy car this time. It’s a luxury model with automatic doors and a DVD player! Oooh… So we drove to the tax place to get a disabled badge, and then went to get food, and then finally got to the hotel.

We were looking forward to flopping out on the bed and relaxing, however we get into the room and discover there is only one double bed and one single bed. So I have no bed. Mum’s phoned up the reception and they’ve said the hotel is completely booked up and there’s no chance of getting a room that sleeps four people, so we’ve been given the option of a rollaway bed or nothing. But we can’t really have a rollaway bed because then we wouldn’t have room for the wheelchair. So we’re screwed. I shall update when we know more.

Saturday 9^th June

MGM Studios.

Well last night we decided to go for a walk, as we were all in crap moods and snapping at each other. Partly to do with the fact we were stuck in a skanky hotel, and party because we hadn’t slept for like a day. So we walked along to the complex next to our hotel, where there’s restaurants and stuff and we ended up in Hooters, much to the boys’ delight! Hooters is staffed by girls with large “hooters”, tight shirts and hot pants! ‘Nuff said! We weren’t hungry much so we shared a couple of meals between us and mainly sat and drank. It’s hellish when you first arrive here because you are instantly dehydrated. So we’re sitting there, boys admiring the view when our waitress came over and said that a guy outside had just paid for our meals, but he didn’t want to be known, he was just being nice. WTF?! You’d never get that in Scotland!! So random dude, thank you!

Needless to say that cheered us all up a little, and when we went back to the hotel we had a skanky fold up bed as a 4^th bed. So at least we all had beds for the night. But we discovered the sink was leaking everywhere. Boo. We called out tour operator, First Choice, and they said they’d see what they could do, but for last night we were stuck there. So we just went to bed.

This morning we were al awake at 5am, jet lag! We didn’t unpack everything in case we were getting moved, so getting dressed was a nightmare. However we managed and went off to Perkins for breakfast. As always a gorgeous breakfast, and as always we got high on the lovely coffee!

Being completely hyper, we were at MGM for just past 8am. Which was excellent, as all this week there’s a Star Wars weekend, which means there’s special stuff on at MGM and it’s supposedly more busy. So we were pretty far forward in the queue for opening, and they had a special opening with Storm troopers doing a show on the roof before gates opened, then having a whole other build up for the rope drop inside the park. We headed right to Tower of Terror and Aerosmith to get fast passes for those for later!

After getting those, we just had to go and meet Jedi Mickey! That took a while as it’s probably the most popular attraction. We got pictures there and then were walking past Star Tours when we saw the wait was only 10 minutes. So we all rode Star  Tours which was hilarious as Dad screamed like a girl through the whole thing! We were going to go to Jedi training after that, but the parents decided it was too hot to stand in the sun. What the heck? I love the sun!

So instead of standing in the sun to watch Jedi training, we stood in the sun to watch the High School Musical show. Which I think is where I got sunburned today. Even though I had half a ton of sun lotion on. Damn Florida sun! After that finished we realized the Star Wars parade was about to start, so we picked a spot to sit and watch that. It was quite good, it had all the characters in it and even had the actors going about in cars! It would probably have been better if I knew anything about Star Wars.

After watching that the parents decided they were too hot again. I personally like it being over 30 degrees, but they seemlingly can’t cope. So we had to resort to an emergency frozen lemonade and while we were sitting throwing ice cubes at each other, the woman from First Choice called, to tell us we were getting moved to another hotel, not only another hotel but a 4 star apartment complex! Weee!

After our refreshment we rode the Great Movie Ride which I think is boring but the parents love it. Then after that we went and did the new Narnia thing, which is like a wee walk through show thing, it’s really pretty though and we’ve never done it before so that was nice. Then we watched the Muppets 3D which although we’ve seen about 10 times, still makes us laugh.

Then it was 1:30pm and time for our lunch reservation at the Sci-Fi diner, and we only had to wait 5 minutes for our table but the guy standing outside was turning away people, saying the first free table available would be for after 10pm! Busy huh? It is a purely amazing place though, it’s built like a 50’s drive in cinema, and the tables are cars sitting before a giant movie screen which is screening clips of 50’s movies, hilarious! Anyway we had an awesome meal, Mum and Ben shared a burger, Dad had a chicken sandwich which he shared with me and I had a salad which he ate half of.

After eating we were excited to see our new hotel, so we went back to skank hotel and packed up and checked out, picking up flowers from Dave, thank you! So we drove to our new hotel, which is just built and really lovely looking. Mum went and checked us in and we found our room. Oh my fucking God. It’s AMAZING! It’s a flat, with three bedrooms, two king size and one twin! It also has a better kitchen than we have at home, with all the essential American devices like ice makers, fridge twice the size of anything we get at home, trash compactor etc! And it has a big lounge with a TV the size of a small car! Dad had multiple orgasms when he saw it! It’s honestly amazing! This place costs about £200 a night, it’s lovely!

So right now I’m sitting watching TV while the parents unpack. I don’t know if we’re going back out later or not, shall update if we do.

We went back to MGM after chilling for a bit and we were going to do the big rides, Aerosmith and Tower of Terror but decided to do something a little tamer. So we did the back lot tour which was hilarious as always as it was Dad who got wet this time and it’s usually me. Then we went to watch Fantasmic at 9pm which was good, but Ben fell asleep. How the heck you can fall asleep during fireworks I don’t know!! We came home and chilled out some more before being in bed by 11pm.

Sunday 10th June

Animal Kingdom.

Today was a little later starting, we were up just before 8am and had breakfast at the hotel, we had Crispy Cremes, chocolate muffins and orange juice. How typically American. We arrived at Animal Kingdom right on 9am for the opening and we, along with 3 million others, ran for fastpasses for Everest. We got ours and then headed to Kali River Rapids, which actually didn’t open ‘til 9:30, so we had to wait a while for it to open but once it opened we were pretty much straight on. We were in a raft with a bunch of newbies who had never rode before, damn I love riding with those who don’t know what’s coming! They also let us ride twice, so we all got a turn of getting soaked going backwards down the drop.

Then we decided to have a wee chill by going on the Harambe Express which is a little train that takes you to an island place where you can see animals and stuff. We saw the vet doing some kind of operation on a bird, but we gave the “petting zoo” a miss this time as it’s full of goats that eat you. We rode the train back to the main park and then went on the Safari which was actually really good as all the animals were out and there was a rhino within touching distance of the truck. Scary but cool. Then after that we walked through the Pangani Forest Trail and saw gorillas and other assorted animals. It was quite nice though as it was all pretty shaded and cool.

After our relaxing walk we decided to pump up the action and ride some rides. Mum and I rode Everest, which as always was hilarious as Mother insists on screaming like a kid the whole way, which results in me pissing myself laughing at her, which all results in a pretty dodgy looking ride photo. After that Mum and I rode Dinosaur which was pretty cool and then we all rode this silly little going-round-in-circles thing, which was quite embarrassing as it’s targeted towards those under 5 years of age.

Again the parents were overheating, so we went to queue for the new Nemo show, which I have to say was amazing, it’s like a musical of singers and puppets and it’s really cool! When we came out of there it was really dark and looked about to pour down, so we made a dash for It’s Tough To Be A Bug show. It was good, and again Dad forgot about the bugs that go up your butt and he leapt up in the air.

When we came out of there it was torrential rain and the loudest thunder I’ve ever heard. It was actually quite scary, and because it was raining so fiercely they let us all come back into the show theatre to wait and see if the rain would go off a bit, but it didn’t and they eventually chucked us out as there was another show due to start. So we stood under the rocks for about half an hour to see if the rain would ease off. But it didn’t, and as we had a dinner reservation at the Rainforest Café we had to just run and try to dodge the raindrops.

When we arrived at the Rainforest Café, after maybe less than a minute running in the rain, we were all soaked to the skin, and the Rainforest Café is one of those places that is freezing with the air conditioning, which is usually welcoming, but when you’re dripping wet it’s uncomfortably FREEZING. So once we’d got at our table Dad and I went and bought towels to wrap round us and heat us up a bit.

The meal was gorgeous; we all finished a full meal too. Ben had pizza, I had a burger, Mum had a pot roast and Dad had some kind of combo thing with steak and shrimp. We were going to stay for a volcano ice cream, but we were too cold and for once couldn’t wait to get back out into the heat. And it wasn’t raining when we came back out, and the park had completely emptied!

We leisurely walked through the empty park to see the Lion King show, and there was only about 40 people in the while audience, so it was a pretty quiet show. And we finally got in the Elephant section, as Dad does this wonderfully embarrassing elephant impression at random moments during the day, so we thought he could put his talent to good use here! However he didn’t do it, mostly because we were all pissing ourselves laughing.

After the show we headed out the park and were pretty much last out the car park, probably because we were one of the only people left in the car park! We went to Walmart on the way home to stock up on food, but Ben and I just sat in the car park and laughed at fat people. After the parents had spent three hours in Walmark we headed back to the room and just lounged about before having an early night.

Quote of the day: (Mother, while demonstrating how to get water out of a completely frozen bottle) “If you suck it and squeeze it at the same time, loads of stuff comes out!”

Monday 11th June

Typhoon Lagoon. Shopping.

This morning was another slightly later morning, but we were all up by 8:30am and again we had breakfast in the room, as we’re taking advantage of having a full dining room, kitchen and proper crockery. Then we got into swimming stuff and went off to Typhoon Lagoon.

It wasn’t looking too sunny when we arrived so the place was pretty quiet and we got a good spot on the beachy bit, facing the wave pool and right beside an entrance to the lazy river. We lay there for a bit, and Mum and Ben went in the lazy river and by the time they’d came back the sun was shining.

Mum and I went a wander to see what rides to go on, and the park was really getting busy and when we went to see the wait time for Crush ‘n’ Gusher it was 120 minutes, so we gave that a miss and instead rode the Gangplank (gangbang) falls which was hilarious and got us soaked. So while wet we went on the lazy river to rate lifeguards. Unfortunetly for us they’d just changed over onto as mostly female lot. Boo. And the hottest guy only got 8/10.

We went back to get the guys and then we all went for a wander to the reef. We were going to do the snorkeling with sharks but the wait was quite long and I can’t swim and I don’t particularly like freezing cold water. After that we sat and had lunch and then went out as it was getting too busy. We just came back to the room to sit and eat American food. No wonder Americans are fat, we have “scoop and eat” cookies and cream cake, which is just about 3 million calories whipped up into a bowl that you just spoon out and eat, and we have a packet of crisps the size of a small child, and cartons of ice cream that are some obscenely unhealthy flavours. We’re going back out in a bit, either shopping or to Epcot, so I’ll update again later on.

Well we  went over to the shopping mall which is joined onto our hotel, it’s like a 2 min walk. And we did pretty much all the shops in there, I got jeans and tops and Dad and Ben got t-shirts and Mum got stuff too, it was quite a good shopping mall. Oh and we went into the converse shop for uber-cheap converse!

Then when we were fed up shopping we came back to the hotel to drop off our stuff and then went out to Bennigan’s for dinner. I had little mini burgers which were really cute, and we got a cute waiter. After that we came back to the hotel and fell asleep in front of the 60” TV.

Tuesday 12th June

Seaworld.

We were up this morning kind of behind schedule at 8:30am, and we had breakfast in the room and then headed off to Seaworld and got there at about 9:30. We had to go buy tickets so that we got them cheap, and as we have two disabled family members, it was only Mum and I who paid to get in as they got free.

First off we went and queued up for the first dolphin feeding which is gross because you get this tray of slimy dead fish, but you get to touch the dolphins so it’s worth the slime. We got to feed them and touch them and got a few photos of the dolphins before walking across the park for the Shamu show, Believe.

Believe was quite good, had loads of folk flying about on strings and whales and stuff. Then after that we decided we were hungry – or rather Dad decided he wanted free beer – so we headed to the Anheuser Busch hospitality centre. We had to wait a bit for a table but the food was good. Oh and you get these cute little Shamu lunchboxes, and the chocolate cake was amazing!

On the way out of there we went and saw the Clydesdale horses, and there was one called Bud after the beer. As we walked round we went through the shark encounter which is a massive glass tunnel under a tank full of scary looking creatures. When we came out of there it looked about to rain, so we went into the penguin encounter for a bit and listened to a guy talking about them, and watched the penguins sliding about the place, they’re hilarious!

When we cameout ofthere it was starting to rain so we went in to see the manatees. They’re pretty boring, just massive floaty things really. Then heading out of there we decided to go and see the Blue Horizons show, but it was bucketing with rain, so Dad being the wimp that he is, decides to go and buy ponchos. So after spending $30 on ponchos and spending half an hour getting them all on, the rain had stopped and it was sunny again.

We watched the Blue Horizons show which was okay and then went and saw the pearl divers before going to see the Clyde and Seymore show. Clyde and Seamore are sealions by the way. It was a pirate show with pirates trying to find a treasure map, it was pretty funny, and it had wee otters trotting across the stage with bits of map at random moments which was cute!

We came out of there hungry so we went to Voyagers for dinner. We all ate pizza which was nice and then headed back to see the second Clyde and Seamore show which is different from the pirate show, it’s more of a piss-take of all the other attractions in the park, including Believe, Sheikra, Dolphin Cove etc. All acted out by these two sealions. It’s gotta be funny!

At that point we argued over whether we were staying for the night time shows or whether we were going to upgrade our tickets free for another day. But we eventually decided just to stay tonight so we wouldn’t have to come back another day. So while waiting for Shamu Rocks to open up, we went in the Wild Arctic which is a simulator ride of a helicopter over the Arctic, it’s rather cool. And then when you get off that it’s a walkthrough with polar bears and other Arctic creatures. Polar bear looked uber cute and cuddly!

Then we went and queued for Shamu Rocks and eventually got in to that. The show didn’t start ‘til 9:30 and we got in just before 9 so there was half an hour or so of random dancing and people trying to entertain the crowd. However when it did finally start it was a pretty amazing show with Shamu and baby Shamu.

After that we got a spot for the fireworks, which was quite nice, and then finally headed out, being about last out of the car park because we couldn’t find our car! LOL! Yes we had to wait until there was only one white car left. Oh, and this is hilarious – on the car keys there’s this “panic button” so I wondered what it did and pressed it. The whole car lights up, starts doing a wee light show while beeping and making all sorts of queer noises, it’s effing hilarious!

We went to Walgreens on the way home to buy something, I don’t know what! And finally got to bed at after 11:30pm. Sleepy!

Wednesday 13th June

Universal Studios.

Ahh well we had a long lie this morning and didn’t get into Universal Studios until about 11am. We went and got a Guest Assistance Pass as this gets us through the express line which is basically walking right on, rather than waiting hours in line. Hehe. We hit Shrek 3D first and rode that, it’s hilarious and Ben loves it! Then we went on Jimmy Neutron which is another simulator type ride, and we always end up laughing because at the end the dumb dude gets hold of a magic wand and conjures up 50 llamas. LMAO!

After that we went round to Twister, which although it’s an old ride, it’s still amazing. And it’s still hilarious when the cow goes flying across the stage. Mooooo... Then Mum and I rode the Mummy and screamed like little girls. I’m actually scared of that ride because it has these freaky little bugs that come out and get you.

We went round and waited about 20 mins for Men In Black, but the normal queue was 70 minutes, so I won’t complain. We all love MIB, it’s a ride where you go round in a spinny thing and shoot aliens to get points and they pit you against another spinny thing and tell you the winner at the end. We were allowed to ride three times, each time I won from our car and our car won against the other team. Woo! There’s loads of bonuses that not a lot of people know about y’see!

Then of course we had to ride ET, which I think is boring, but it says your names at the end, “Thankyou so-and-so...” So I decided to say my name was Delilah, and Mum and Ben copied me and said they were Delores and Dillan. Dad however was boring and said he was Stuart.

After that it was getting close to our dinner reservation time, so we decided to do one more thing before heading, so we decided on the Horror Make Up Show. In the queue there was an attendant with a fake arm who kept putting it over people’s shoulder which was pure hilarious. Especially the woman who threw her drink everywhere in fright! The show was pretty good, they picked a girl who really didn’t want to volunteer to be the volunteer. Evil.

When we came out of there it was bucketing with rain, so we put on the ponchos and ran for Margaritaville. Thankfully we wern’t long in being seated and we had a lovely meal too. Cheeseburgers in paradise and salads all round. We didn’t eat desert because we’re lightweight Brits who don’t eat three courses. Or two...

After that it was still looking rainy so we decided to head out. We went to the brand new only open today Walmart and spent three hours in there in awe of the random crap America eats. Oh, and there was a British isle in the shop, with galaxy chocolate, Heinz beans, tea and digestives! They don’t have tea here! What the hell...?

Then we headed back to the hotel and sat and watched Cartoon Network on the 60” TV for a bit before getting to bed just after 10pm.

Thursday 14th June

 Islands of Adventure.

We were up today at about 8:30 and ate the most unhealthy breakfast. Glazed donuts, Honey Buns and various other sugary things. Then we headed out to Islands of Adventure, hoping it wouldn’t rain today. We arrived there at about 10am and got our GAP passes which let us to the front of line and headed for Ben’s favourite bit – Seuss Landing.

There we rode the Cat In The Hat, 1 Fish 2 Fish and the Caro-seuss-el. All in about an hour! Then we walked round a bit and did the walkthrough of Poseidons Fury before having the most massive ice creams I’ve ever had! They filled us up and acted as lunch!

After that we spoke to the Mystic Fountain which for once didn’t soak us! Then we went past that to the Sinbad stunt show where Mum fell asleep and when the pyrotechnics went off at the end she nearly shit herself. Lmao! After that we went round and Mum and I rode Spiderman and when we came out of that it was raining.

So we ran to the cinema to see if there was anything good showing and discovered that Shrek 3 was on, so we went and saw that – it was very funny – and by the time we had watched that the sun was back out and we were hungry! So we had a wander up Citywalk and came across the NASCAR restaurant so we ate there and then went back to the room to chill out for a bit.

Friday 15th June

 Islands of Adventure. Universal Studios.

Today we were up a little earlier at about 8am but Dad didn’t get up ‘til after 9 so we still didn’t get to Universal until after 10. Boo for us. We’ve been in the 2^nd car park every day! We planned on doing wet rides today, so we’d brought a change of clothes with us.

Mum and I rode Popeye and Bluto’s Bilge Rat Barge first – twice – being soaked by Dad and Ben with the squirter guns both times. Mmm wet. We got changed after having a good laugh at those who wear white skirts and red pants on a water ride. Err white skirts go see through when wet!

We were hungry after that so we went and got a massive turkey leg and Ben and I shared that and Mum and Dad ate some kind of chicken sandwich thing between them. Then we went to see the dinosaur bit where you can see baby dinosaurs hatching and other weird stuff.

After that it was time to go find a spot to watch the brand new water skiing show on the lagoon, so we picked a perfect spot to watch, and the show was amazing, although we got soaked with the hot dude on the water ski. And we all got sunburnt from standing in midday sun for half an hour.

We decided to head out via Seuss again, so Dad and Ben rode 1 Fish 2 Fish and got STUCK on the ride, but after mush apologies and maintenance men, they were freed. And from there we went to ride Cat in the Hat again, but got onto the ride to discover the disabled car wasn’t working right, so we had to get off again! But the guy was sooo apologetic and even bought us a Cat in the Hat toy worth like $30!

After all that we went over to finish off Universal Studios so went for Jaws first which was fake but fun as usual. And then we went to do Earthquake and there’s a bit where they pick a volunteer to do a “6 storey drop” stunt act. And Mum thought she’d be smart and point out Dad to volunteer but instead the guy picked her! So we all sat in the audience and laughed at her “stunt” but we later found out it’s just a stunt man that does the drop and Mother was unharmed. Haha. The look on her face though!

Mum and I rode the Mummy again on our way back round and got talking to a guy from New Jersey in the queue, damn I love randomers! When we came out of that the Blues Brothers were playing so we watched them for a bit before heading out of the park.

After arguing over dinner, we decided on Chili’s and we had the awesome blossom onion which if anyone has had before they’ll know it’s just LOVELY! Mum and I shared ribs. Yes I ate something that blatently looked like a dead animal. Oh God I’m turning American. And Dad ate a sandwich thing and Ben ate pizza.

Then we just headed back for the internet mainly. Haha. I’m gonig to bed. Internet owns me. Even here.